And America's Next Failed Model Is...

Recognise any of these girls?

No, of course not. They're all past contestants on America's Next Top Model.

I watch ANTM. Enough that i use the abbreviated form of the title. After having a stressful day, there is nothing more relaxing than watching some spoilt little girl crying because Tyra Banks is forcing her to have a hair cut. But i am not for one second deluded enough to believe that any of the girls who enter it, make it to the final 12, or even win it have the slightest chance of being any sort of 'top model'. Top- LESS maybe...

To me, models are not like normal people. I mean REAL models, like Agyness Deyn, Naomi Campbell, Karen Elson, Twiggy... even that Kate Moss skeleton thing. Maybe its the complete absence of body fat, or the elevated sense of self importance.. but there is something untouchable and ethereal about them. So when you see a desperate girl on her knees begging an ageing supermodel for one more chance it kind of takes that away.

Can you imagine this girl sobbing to Tyra Banks about how she's just trying to make a better life for her baby, or getting hysterical about posing naked? NO.

Maybe because she's gay and models nude all the time, but still...

I have even bothered to mention the Top Model franchise in other countries. It doesn't even rate on my escapism list. Its like Tyra checked her bank balance, it was a little low, so she sold the title to some other countries. I can just see Saudi Arabia's Next Top Model...