I like to think I'm quite tolerant of religions in general. With possible exceptions for Jehovah's Witnesses, Scientologists (not really a religion, just a cult) and Mormons. A Mormon wrote Twilight. And it even sounds like 'moron'. But I'm not the biggest fan of religious events like Christmas.
I know Christmas barely counts as a religious event any more, which I am quite happy about. Apparently (I use the word 'apparently' in the way The Sun uses it, to avoid saying 'this is pure hearsay and likely to be untrue') Christmas has taken the place of an old Pagan festival anyway So its really not that sacred.
If you're going by what Christmas is really about, you're just going to get really depressed. Are you sitting comfortably? Then I will tell you a nice story.
Once upon a time a cute little baby was born. He had a nice childhood, with his mum, Mary and his dad, Joseph. Oh wait... His real dad was God Almighty himself, but luckily Joseph was a cool dude, and didn't mind his girl being impregnated by a supernatural being, then raising the miracle working baby as his own.
Actually that bit is quite pleasant, even if it is a bit Jeremy Kyle. Just imagine those DNA results...
But then you move a few years down the line, and the cute baby is tortured and killed by the very people he was sent to save, by a father who had intended this all along. There is the sad bit.
So lets forget about the religious aspect. I'm not religious, my family isn't particularly, but I don't want to miss out on the experience.
By experience, I mean presents.
So yeah, every year Christmas seems to be more and more commercial and on acid. I LOVE IT. I have given up on bah humbugging and being miserable, I'll save that for New Year now.
Also, I LOVE the John Lewis Christmas advert. I don't care that the miserable man who writes for The Guardian said something about how anyone who cries watching it is crying out IQ points. Fuck off, snob. And that's really an insult, coming from me.
Its a really cute kid being excited about giving his parents a present! COME ON?! How heartless do you have to be to deny that this moves you? Especially as you remember that when you were a kid... it was all about the receiving.
So yes. This Christmas I will freak out about not being able to pay my bills, never mind buy presents, then calm the fuck down and enjoy being with my family, eating foods that will make me jolly (fat) and opening presents. Oh, and giving presents. Yay!
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